Rosalie Cullens HoneymoonWhat Really Happened
by TheTwilightPixie
Summary: for those who remember Rosalie Cullens Wedding..What really Happened. this is a continuation, but if u didnt read that u can still read this. chapter .1. includes miley cryus songs,planes,doors,socks and its just a teaser ! read and find out more :
1. Chapter 1

**Rosalie Cullens Honeymoon.. What Really Happened..**

**Intro To Story : Look I'm going to make this short and sweet, because lets face it people I tend to get carried away with myself as I do. If you are reading this for the first time, continue or go to my other story Rosalie Cullens Wedding.. What really happened because this is a continuation, but if you are sick of weddings and this intro and (in your own words) want me to get on with the god damn story, I will in two minutes so hush hush.. But I got the best feedback on Rosalie's Wedding so I decided to continue for those who loved it because I'm such a great person and all and yes I am blowing my trumpet but people I HAVE LOW SELF STEAM ! And yes I don't know who to spell it, but how and ever. If you want to read what seems to becoming a series check back on my page. Faver this first !. Again low steam .. I mean self steam . P.S if anyone knows what I'm trying to spell just review n tell me because lets face it - **

**OMG I HAVE GONE OFF THE POINT AGAIN !! The point is a freakin dot to me, I'm there asking for poxy spelling tips.. If anyone remembers Rosalie Cullens Wedding I tended to give out about the intros a bit but ill resist.. Lol I have another intro after this. Thanks for reading this far, you should get paid.**

Rosalie Cullen's Honeymoon.. What really happened 

**Part One THE FLIGHT OVER **

**Intro : OK resisting temptations. OK the last time we saw Rosalie she was in a black plastic bag, marring Emmett with a gay priest who loved Edward and Alice had just killed Jane and Alice had dressed up as Jane to get her divorce from Emmett, and Kermit and Elmo were having a hoedown throw down (yes I use terms) and things went a bit mad (10 parts later). But in the end Rosalie married Emmett and the cullens (and phil) went back to their house. So now we Begin with the first part THE PLANE ! .. Not helpful when Emmett is afraid of heights..**

"_Rosalie and Emmett take there seats in the flight, and Emmett doesn't really settle"_

Emmett : WHAT IF WE ALL DIE

Rosalie : We cant die

Emmett : WELL SAY WE CRASH

Rosalie : we probley wouldn't notice

Emmett : WHAT IF WE CRASH ON A ISLAND

Rosalie : we'd like run away

Emmett : WELL I SAW THIS SHOW CALLED LOST AND LIKE LOADS HAPPEN ! INCLUDING RABBITT HATCHES AND THIS SEXY LONG BLONDE HAIR FELLA AND OOH MY GOD THIS BALD BLOKE AND HE LIKE DIED BUT DIDN DIE-

Captain : Hello everyone you are aboard the _air france_ flight to Spain, take you seats we will be flying soon-

Emmett : LET ME OFF !! LET ME OFF !! WERE ALL GOING TO DIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Rosalie : Emmett sshhh now.. Sit down

Emmett : WERE TOO HIGH ! WERE TOO F*****G HIGH

Rosalie : we havent taken off yet you plonk !

Emmett : Ooh em, I knew that

Rosalie : Just sit down ok !

Emmett : But-

Rosalie : down

Emmett : but-

Rosalie : down

"_12 buts and 13 downs later, Emmett sits down"_

Emmett : Rose-

Rosalie : DOWN !

Emmett : no, you know what I just reliased ?

Rosalie : what

Emmett : you know the way we em sparkle

Rosalie : SPARKLEY ?

Emmett : yes

Rosalie : what about it

Emmett : were going to spain, what if we show ourselves

Rosalie : CRAP !

Emmett : I no I-

Rosalie : Know I chipped a nail

Emmett : how are we going to get off the plane

Rosalie : well the plane hasen taken off yet so-

"_The Plane takes off"_

Emmett : you were saying ?

Rosalie : Crap.. Well at least I distracted you. You hardly notice that were 4,000 feet off the ground

…

Emmett : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WERE 4,000 FEET OFF THE GROUND !

Rosalie : well 5,000 now-

Emmett : NOT HELPING !!!!!!!!! GET ME !! OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rosalie : Look Emmett calm down ok

Emmett : how can I WERE GOING TO DIE ! AND IF WE DON'T WERE GOIN TO SPARKLE AS SOON AS WE LAND!Rosalie : well I have a plan..

Emmett : MIRRORS DON'T SAVE THE WORLD ROSE

Rosalie : not for your face they don't.. but if we just go to the cockpit

Emmett : yes

Rosalie : Make sure know ones looking

Emmett : yes

Rosalie : Get Para shoots

Emmett : yes

Rosalie : and jump out the plane and hope for the best

…

Emmett : HELP ME SHES GOING TO KILL ME ! SHES GOING TO KILL ME-

Heiress : excuse sir would you like some of our pillows, food, drink -

Emmett : No love, were va-

Rosalie : ssh

Emmett : va-

Rosalie : ssh

Emmett : I'M TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING.. No love were va-

Rosalie : were Va, van, VANS !!!!

Heiress : a van

Rosalie : yes.. Van's now move along

Heiress : one question ?

Rosalie : what, bitch

Heiress : can I be a car ?

Rosalie : move along

Rosalie : look Emmett, we have to jump

Emmett : WERE ONLY VANS FOR GOD SAKE ROSE. IM STAYIN HERE AND NOT MOVIN !

Rosalie : Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. Well I want a divorce

Emmett : right jeez woman ill jump you happy

Rosalie : No.

Rosalie : the key is to stay cool, don't draw attenion to yourself and-

"_Rosalie turns around and finds Emmett stripping and rolling on the floor singing the climb"_

Emmett : ALWAYS GONNA BE ANOTHER MOUNTAIN

"_takes off sock"_

Emmett : Always GONNA WANNA MAKE IT MOVE

"_Takes off hat"_

Emmett : ALWAYS GONNA BE AN UP-HILL BATTLE

"_takes off other sock"_

Rosalie : YOU BIG BUFF B*****D GET UR ASS OVER HERE ! AND JUMP OUT THE F****G PLANE !

"_Passengers look at Rosalie"_Random Passenger : what blondie

Rosalie : THAT'S MISS BLONDIE TO YOU ! And me and my partner here -

Emmett : SOMETIMES YOU GONNA HAVE TA LOSEEEEEEEEEEE

Rosalie : And-

Emmett : Aint about how fast I get there-

Rosalie : ohh god the high note

Emmett : AINT ABOUT WHATS WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDEEEEE

Rosalie : prepare yourself

Emmett : IT'S THE CLIMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHHHHHH

Rosalie : that's it

"_Rosalie picks up Emmett, Opens the plane door and f**ks him out, and when she does this no one notices because the heiress Is dresses like a BMV car."_

**There will be more, but I just posted this up as like a teaser to part .1., tell me what you think**


	2. Part 2,3,4

**Part .2. THEY LANDED… WERE ARE THEY ??**

**Intro : so after Rosalie thrown Emmett out of the plane things didn't go to well, he held on to the window, she pulled him down by the boot, he held onto the engine, her grip slipped and she threw her sock at him, he held onto the wheel, bringing the plane down about 900 miles per hour and crashing it into the ground "Sarcastic voice" WELL DONE EMMETT !. Thankfully everyone survived, well that's what they think, as if Rosalie would check, instead she pulled out her red and black nail vanish and painted lady birds on her nails whilst Emmett had a breakdown mainly because he reliased the sky was blue. How did he not know this ? I hear you ask.. Well my answer good people is.. He didn't think to look up .. Tut tut Emmett tut tut. So 20 hours and 10 lady bird nails later Emmett snapped out of it and he and Rosalie wandered around this cold forest trying to figure out were they where. (woohoo, I didn't get off the point. If you can people clap for me… and low steam (lol) ) **

Emmett : Where are we

Rosalie : somewhere on earth

Emmett : is that a country ?

Rosalie : No.. its ………… YES NO WHERE ON EARTH right next to Canada

Emmett : I didn't know that-

Rosalie : FOR GOD SAKE EMMETT I WAS JOKING

Emmett : Ooooooooooooooh I thought you where being geographical

Rosalie : that's what globes are for.. ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT !

Emmett : no

Rosalie : you just called me a globe

Emmett : I never said such thing.. And besides your not fat your -

Rosalie : DON'T SAY ANEROXIC BECAUSE ILL PULL OFF MY HEELS AND BATE -

Emmett : no your… healthy proportioned.. Like, like a horse

Rosalie : did you just call me………… A F*****G HORSE !!!

"_Rosalie got so angry that her left brow sizzled off, that made her angrier causing the right one to follow.. After Emmett's comment. Rosalie Hale is browless.." _

Emmett : AHH your brow is on the floor

Rosalie : My brow.. MY OTHER BROW. ! MY BROWS !!!!!

Emmett : do you…………………want me to pick one up

Rosalie : AND DO WHAT EMMETT !!!!!!!!!!! CELOTAPE IT ON !!

Emmett : NOOOOOOOOOOO

"_Emmett rolls his eyes"_

Emmett : I was thinking.. Super glue

Rosalie : OH MY GOD ! GET AWAY FROM HERE

Emmett : Wha ?? You not having a good time

Rosalie : A GOOD F*****G TIME !!!. Ok first, you reck the plane, second you make an heiress A CAR ! Third you sang highly and you know what that does to my hearing, forth you made me lose my shoe, FIFTH ! YOU CALL ME A HORSE !! AND TO MAKE THINGS BETTER YOU WANT TO SUPER GLUE MY BROWS BACK ON !!!!!!!

Emmett : …………………………well I suppose I do

Rosalie : Emmett ! If you do anything, say anything to PEE me off I shall kill you .. NO THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT ! Ill divorce you. And then kill you ok.. So now LETS FIND OUT WHERE THE F**K WE ARE !

"_Edward, Alice, Jasper, Esme, Phil and Carlisle step out from there house in forks .. Turns out they were outside there house the whole time. Again Emmett never looked up."_

Alice : did you have a nice time ?

"_Rosalie goes up, head buts Alice, knocks her out, walks inside and slams the door"_

Alice : take that as a Nooo

Emmett : No Alice our 2 hour honeymoon was the sex

Alice : really ?

Emmett : Yeah sure were on verge of divorce

"_Emmett storms inside"_

Jasper : he must be bad in bed

Edward : well from what she's thinking

Alice : Ooh know she didn-

Edward : Ooh yes she did

Jasper : who ?

Esme : Mary Poppins who do you think ?

"_Jasper shrugs his shoulders and skips of into a sunset singing"_

Jasper : A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, medicnine go doooooooown, medicine go down

Esme : Where's he going ?

Alice : England.. In search of Julie Andrews

Carlisle : I think we should help Rosalie and Emmett

Edward : In what way ?

Carlisle : Like therapy get to the bottom of this

Alice : this is ROSALIE and Emmett .. You wanna have a scrap shovel and be like super human to get to the bottom of them

**Part .3. Therapy With The Cullens**

**Intro : So after 4 hours of please do it and if you love her/him you'll do it and 3 mins of Ill buy you a mirror if you come and ill kidnap a bear if you sit down, Rosalie and Emmett sat down for therapy with the three lets say.. Helpful cullens Alice, Edward and Carlisle, while Phil knitted socks for a random baby and Esme dyed her hair, they all sat down as if it was physcotherapy, Rosalie and Emmett on a chair facing "the three amigos" who were sitting at a wooden desk. Alice, Edward and Carlisle had bought empty briefcases and glasses to be more professional. There Jobs are Carlisle : is the problem solver.. Edward : The truth person, to say weather what they mean and Alice : The "are they going to do what they say" person**

Carlisle : What seems to be the problem

Rosalie : Him

Emmett : Her

Carlisle : Edward is this the truth ?

Edward : No. Rosalie is crying sobless tears over her brows.. And Emmett.. Well is still horrified over the skys colour and blames Rosalie for never pointing that out

Carlisle : If you where to change anything about each other what it be-

Emmett : her nose

Rosalie : his face

Carlisle: Edward ?

Edward : No lies

Carlisle :do you love each other

Emmett : forever

Rosalie :……….. I loved my brows more -

Emmett : THAT'S IT DIVORCE !Edward : but your only married 2 days-

Emmett : DIVORCE

Rosalie : .f. FINE.. ILL JUST MARRY SOMEONE ELSE !!

Emmett : me too

Rosalie : PHILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRING YOUR BIBLE

Emmett : Alice ! Get your laptop

"_They both storm out"_

Carlisle : Well…. That went….. Well

Edward : To think we were going to go into business with this

Carlisle : her nose is distracting though

Edward : True, true

**Part .4. ALICE FORSEE'S SOMETHING .. TERRIBLE !!! **

**Intro : ok so Edward and Carlilse are having a conversation about Rose's Nose and how that rhymes when Alice has a werid vision, about Felix MARRYING ROSALIE (if anyone remembers from Rosalie Cullens Wedding I had big death music like DIN DIN DIN !.. Time to use it now". OK PEOPLE DIN DIN DIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll create new music, what about batman.. OK start again..**

**Alice forsee's Rosalie Marrying Felix Di ni ni na ni na BATMAN di ni ni na ni na BATMAN !! Ooh yeah**

Edward : So yeah Carl (Edward nickname for Carlisle) we should DEFFO make a poem, ok so far. Sing it with me

Edward and Carlisle : Rose ! Had a nose ! Full of dose ! It was green seem to be LIKE A BEAN ! And as her blonde hair flows ! AND THE WIND BLOWS! When Rosalie turns around SHE KNOCKS SOMEONE OUT !!!! ROSALIE NOSALIE !! Your nose is full of PO-

Edward : Alice whats wrong your doing that twitch again

Alice : I JUST SAW SOMETHING !

Edward : well share the gossip there pixie one ?

Alice : ROSALIE ! SHE IS MARRYING FELIX (from the volturi duhh) AND EMMETT IS MARRYING !! Oh my god !

Carlisle : WHO ALICE !!

Alice : a very drunk……Paris Hilton

Edward : Well.. Were all f***d !

**That's it for now.. More to come, tell me what you think. I'm sorry if you think its lame, I tried ! And if your angrier that its not funny.. DON'T LOSE A BROW !! **

_To be continued_


End file.
